First let me say that I’m sorry that you have been dealing with adultery. Although we have never met, I understand the pain you are going through. I hope that today was better than yesterday and that tomorrow is better than today for you. I also want to share with you the 3 key things as outlined below that I feel you need to survive adultery.
There are very few things in life that can bring as much pain as the broken trust you are dealing with right now. Whether you just found out about the infidelity or have known for a little while now you are likely still struggling trying to get your arms around the situation.
I know the adultery has turned your life upside down but as difficult as this is at the moment, please make sure you are taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Often times spouses have difficulty eating and getting proper rest, which is not good for anyone. With the added stress you have it’s all the more vital that you eat well and get rest.
3 Keys You Need To Survive Infidelity
You maybe tearing yourself up, trying to make the right decision for you and your family. On the one hand you feel as though you still love your spouse and would like to find a way to work things out. However, you are having trouble seeing past the pain, frustration, and disgust and resentment right? Well, the fact that you are struggling with the decision is a good thing.
Clearly, it’s vital that each of you still love each other if you are going to recover from the adultery. This may not be that obvious at this time because you have anger and disdain in your heart and your spouse may have feelings for the person he or she cheated with. This could make it appear that one or both of you no longer have love in your hearts for each other.
The good news for you is that if you are trying to find ways or reasons to work things out after the adultery it probably means you still love your spouse. You probably also have some reasons to believe your spouse wants to work things out.
The love you have for each other is very difficult to lose and can be restored. Your spouses indiscretion in and of itself should not be enough to kill the love you have.
You both will need strength to recovery from adultery. It’s a long and tough road ahead to get through all of the difficult conversations and rebuilding trust, love and intimacy. As the person who was cheated on you will need great strength to resist the urge to get even with your spouse or make him or her pay for committing adultery. Your cheating spouse will need strength to properly handle your rage, anger and reaction to the unfaithfulness. Your spouse will also need strength to hang in their despite the severed relationships with disappointed family and friends.
You and your spouse will need courage to handle the fear of the unknown and be willing to move forward and try to reconcile your marriage. After adultery, there will be many days when doubt and fear will be present and it’s easy to just give up when this happens.
It will take courage to trust again and resist wanting to put your spouse in an impossible position to prove that he or she can love again, without being unfaithful.
I would be lying if I guaranteed that you and your spouse will make it if you stay together and try to work things out. It all depends on your desire and commitment to get past this difficult obstacle.
However, I would like to encourage you to do all you can and go as far as you can and see how things go. The best case is that you forgive your spouse, restore love and build a new relationship that is so strong adultery is of little concern. The worst case is you try to work it out and decide at some point you must go your separate ways.