Adultery – 3 Key Ingredients You Need To Survive Infidelity

First let me say that I’m sorry that you have been dealing with adultery. Although we have never met, I understand the pain you are going through. I hope that today was better than yesterday and that tomorrow is better than today for you. I also want to share with you the 3 key things as outlined below that I feel you need to survive adultery.

There are very few things in life that can bring as much pain as the broken trust you are dealing with right now. Whether you just found out about the infidelity or have known for a little while now you are likely still struggling trying to get your arms around the situation.

I know the adultery has turned your life upside down but as difficult as this is at the moment, please make sure you are taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Often times spouses have difficulty eating and getting proper rest, which is not good for anyone. With the added stress you have it’s all the more vital that you eat well and get rest.

3 Keys You Need To Survive Infidelity

Love

You maybe tearing yourself up, trying to make the right decision for you and your family. On the one hand you feel as though you still love your spouse and would like to find a way to work things out. However, you are having trouble seeing past the pain, frustration, and disgust and resentment right? Well, the fact that you are struggling with the decision is a good thing.

Clearly, it’s vital that each of you still love each other if you are going to recover from the adultery. This may not be that obvious at this time because you have anger and disdain in your heart and your spouse may have feelings for the person he or she cheated with. This could make it appear that one or both of you no longer have love in your hearts for each other.

The good news for you is that if you are trying to find ways or reasons to work things out after the adultery it probably means you still love your spouse. You probably also have some reasons to believe your spouse wants to work things out.

The love you have for each other is very difficult to lose and can be restored. Your spouses indiscretion in and of itself should not be enough to kill the love you have.

Strength

You both will need strength to recovery from adultery. It’s a long and tough road ahead to get through all of the difficult conversations and rebuilding trust, love and intimacy. As the person who was cheated on you will need great strength to resist the urge to get even with your spouse or make him or her pay for committing adultery. Your cheating spouse will need strength to properly handle your rage, anger and reaction to the unfaithfulness. Your spouse will also need strength to hang in their despite the severed relationships with disappointed family and friends.

Courage

You and your spouse will need courage to handle the fear of the unknown and be willing to move forward and try to reconcile your marriage. After adultery, there will be many days when doubt and fear will be present and it’s easy to just give up when this happens.

It will take courage to trust again and resist wanting to put your spouse in an impossible position to prove that he or she can love again, without being unfaithful.

What’s next?
I would be lying if I guaranteed that you and your spouse will make it if you stay together and try to work things out. It all depends on your desire and commitment to get past this difficult obstacle.

However, I would like to encourage you to do all you can and go as far as you can and see how things go. The best case is that you forgive your spouse, restore love and build a new relationship that is so strong adultery is of little concern. The worst case is you try to work it out and decide at some point you must go your separate ways.

Dealing With Adultery – Important Tips For Healing

I know I don’t need me to tell you how painful dealing with adultery is because you are living it right now. My hope is that you are making strides in dealing with the affair, and on your way to restoring your relationship.

Although committing adultery is one of those marriage busting issues, I want you to know that there is still hope. I know you probably don’t see right now how you can stay with your partner who has betrayed you and who makes you sick.

Putting your life back together after dealing with adultery requires a few things on your part and for your spouse, with the main things being having a will to make things right and a little knowledge on how to get what you want.

Tips for dealing with adultery

1. Don’t procrastinate – Dealing with an affair in your relationship requires you to do things that can move you in the right direction. I suggest that you not wait for things to start getting better. If you want to speed up your healing and recovery then start hashing out the problems with your spouse.

2. Set your rules for dealing with adultery – There are many instances where because the spouses simply are not sure what to do, they end up continuing to do nothing and let the unfaithfulness drive them apart for good. It’s important that you set some expectations and boundaries. For example, perhaps you should let your partner know that you expect no further interaction with the other person going forward.

3. Find your safety zone – The pain that you are experiencing is like no other and can overwhelm you if you are not careful. You need relief at times when dealing with adultery so make sure you know where to turn for moments of peace and joy. For example, if you like to run or take walks do so and make sure you don’t dwell on the affair while looking for a bit of peace.

4. Plan on forgiving your cheating partner – I have no idea, why your partner decided to have an affair and for that matter it’s none of my business. However, regardless of the reason, your healing after adultery will only be complete when you get to the place where you can forgive your cheating mate.

5. Set realistic goals for getting beyond the adultery – No one can tell you when dealing with adultery will be a thing of your past. I wish I could tell you that it takes a month or 3 months but I would be guessing and that’ not helpful for you. Make little goals that you can achieve and you will start to see the light at the end of a very dark tunnel you are traveling through.

Dealing with adultery can easily make you want to walk away. I applaud you for seeking the strength, courage and wisdom to recover and restore your relationship after an affair.

Online Affairs Bring the Most Spiteful Emotional Adultery

Emotional adultery is a torturous experience. Seeing the person you poured all your heart into suddenly lose all affection towards you is a rather painful thing. Online affairs have been rampant nowadays, accounting for a lot of cases of separation and divorce and each has gone through a painstaking course of emotional adultery.

The thought of being replaced is hurtful enough but being replaced by someone who didn’t invest as much time, physical effort, concern and love as you did is very weakening. This makes online affairs the source of the most hurtful emotional adultery.

What Constitutes Emotional Adultery?

(1) Withdrawal

A person that commits emotional adultery becomes withdrawn. He or she feels and looks detached from you and your relationship. That partner has found something that he/she didn’t find in the current relationship and that something could be the fulfillment of an utmost desire. When such thing happens, the partner feels unsatisfied and gloomy. They would feel gloomy because they discovered they could find a better kind of relationship out there and they’re not in it because they are with you. In their mind their partners are not the victim, they are. So they sulk in one corner and feel sorry that they have to be cheating to be happy. They suddenly change. Their sexual desires towards you become very low on top of the indifferences he/she could start to show. Online affairs are not initially that serious, but they could become one if a person finds a match that entices her whole being.

(2) Guilt

Guilt is a constant thing in a person’s life. A person committing emotional adultery feels more guilt than a person committing a full-blown adultery. This is because there is still a part of them that is very much attached to the current relationship. Guilt is the reason that a cheating partner suddenly assumes a secretive behavior.

(3) Secretive behavior.

Secretive behaviors happen when a partner feels guilt. Almost all of us wouldn’t want to be caught cheating because we don’t want anyone to get hurt. Emotional adultery is felt and seen by the way a partner behaves but it is not always conclusive. Being secretive with your partners makes you act unusually different and these changes in behavior unintentionally or intentionally poses as emotional adultery.

It is really hard to accept emotional adultery due to an online affair. It is opposed to the standard norms of relationship; physically cheating would be more acceptable rather than cheating online. It is more understandable for an extra marital affair to occur as a result of a physical temptation rather than what is brought about by a fling over the internet. It is indeed baffling and very maddening to see signs of an affair online.

In general, emotional adultery defines what is so called as “relationship on the rocks”; the confusing and unfortunate events that embody a relationship that is going down the hill. For whatever reason, emotional adultery is half-meant. It is a period in the relationship where both parties need to assess the relationship and mend what is broken. Whether a partner is cheating or not, emotional adultery happens when there is a problem in a relationship. For most, it’s the lack of openness that leads to infidelity and eventually a breakup. Before starting to investigate a partner, address the problems of your relationship first because if you do catch a spouse cheating, it’ll be more likely that your partner would tell you it’s been your fault all along. So find your faults first.

Christian Marriage Adultery – Holding on to Your Faith

There is not much that can devastate a marriage like your spouse being unfaithful and Christian marriage adultery is more complicated because it breaks a number of Godly principles.

The heartbreak can be so overwhelming that it makes couples feel hopeless and doubtful about their future together. However, if there has been repentance and willingness to forgive and leave the affair in the past, then there is still hope for your marriage.

The first step you need o take is to confirm your belief and faith in God. Do you believe God when he says that he can make all things new, that he can turn all things for good? The first step in beginning your healing and renewed marriage is looking to God for wisdom and help in dealing with adultery in a Christian marriage.

It’s important to remember that although it’s hard to see beyond this Christian marriage adultery, God’s plans for your life haven’t changed.

As noted in Jeremiah 29:11-13; “For I know the plans I have for you, ” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Christian marriages are not insulated from the temptations other couples face but Christians have excellent guidance on how to guard their mind and hearts. The fall comes when Christians neglect their relationship with God and then their spouse.

There is no better time to hold onto your faith and beliefs then when you are going through the crisis or storm. God promises to never leave you or forsake you and you must do the same. You will find no greater supporter than God as you begin dealing with Christian marriage adultery.

A very positive step you can take to begin healing from adultery in your marriage is to pray together as a couple and ask God for what you need. Make a commitment to each other that you will seek God’s direction to try to make it over this hurdle. At a minimum you should ask God for wisdom, forgiveness and acknowledge that the only way you are going to stay together is with his help. Commit your marriage into God’s hands daily as you work through the adultery in your Christian marriage

It’s simple but true that God still loves us, despite the mistakes we make. We have been forgiven and with God’s grace and guidance we can learn how to forgive others.

I realize that adultery in a Christian marriage is a little shocking to some but it’s really no less shocking when a non-Christian marriage is hit by an unfaithful act. There is pain, anger, resentment and sadness in all situations. The important difference is that Christian couples can rely on God to get through their adultery problems.